DMW Dead Man Watching 2023

Doing Thyme

2 oz. whiskey
1.5 Tbsp. simple syrup
4 dashes Angostura bitters
4 sprigs fresh thyme

Muddle simple syrup and 3 sprigs of thyme in a shaker. Add whiskey, bitters and ice. Stir until cold. Strain into a rocks glass with a large ice cube. Garnish with remaining thyme.

Keep your eye on the sparrow and take an anger management class

Wizards and Warlocks

6 Blackberries
2 oz. Gold Rum
2 dashes Bitters
1 tsp. Honey
1 tsp. Rosemary
Splash of 151 Rum

Muddle berries, bitters, honey and rosemary in a shaker. Add ice and rum and shake. Strain into a goblet. Top with 151 rum and light it on fire. Sprinkle with cinnamon for extra sizzle. After everyone goes ooh, blow out the flame and add ice.

Use your powers for good or at least for something fun

Day-O

6 cups ice
2 large bananas, sliced
4 oz. light rum
1 cup coconut milk
Juice from 1 lime
1/2 cup sugar

Blend until smooth. Garnish with a lime wheel.

Sip slowly until daylight comes, then go home if you want

The Name of the Game

4 oz. Citron Vodka
2.5 oz. Sprite

Pour vodka and Sprite over ice. Garnish with a twist of lime and mint leaves.

Roll to spay and neuter

Hot Pants

1 Tbsp. grenadine
2 oz. Fireball whiskey
4 oz. apple cider
2 oz. ginger ale
Maraschino cherries

Stir over ice and garnish with cherries

Delight as the soccer moms clutch their pearls

Smarty Pants

2 oz. gin
2 oz. Collins mix or lemon lime soda
.25 oz. kumquat liqueur
Splash of soda water

Stir over ice and garnish with maraschino cherries and a lemon wheel

Remember you’ve got street smarts. That’s nice too.

By the Numbers

1.5 oz. 1800 reposado tequila
.75 oz. mango or pineapple juice
.75 oz. orange juice

Shake with ice. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Drizzle with Grenadine and garnish with mint leaves.

Make 2 and count me in

From Russia With Love

2 oz. vodka
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. heavy cream

Pour vodka and Kahlua over ice. Top with heavy cream.

Whisper the recipe into your pen

Diamonds Are Forever

10 Lucky Charms marshmallows, crushed
.25. cup Lucky Charms cereal
Agave syrup
2 oz. Irish Cream
.75 oz. banana liqueur

Rim a glass with agave syrup and dip in crushed marshmallows. Shake Irish cream and liqueur with ice. Strain into glass. Top with Lucky Charms cereal.

Knuckle down

The Cartel

1.5 oz. tequila
1.5 oz. vodka
.5 oz. orange juice

Shake with ice and pour into a martini glass. Garnish with an orange slice.

Ring bell for service

Carrie’s Mom Has Got It Going On

1 oz. Irish whiskey
1 oz. Cherry Heering
1 oz. sweet vermouth
1 oz. orange juice

Shake and strain into a rocks glass over ice.

Hide your dirty pillows

Roomies
(makes 3)

5 oz. Frangelico
3 oz. vodka
5 scoops vanilla ice cream
Mix in a blender with ice until smooth.

Snuggle with Boo Boo Kitty. Tomorrow is all thigh master.

Am I Blue

1 oz. white rum
.5 oz. Amaretto
.5 oz. blue curacao
.5 oz. fresh lime juice
3.5 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. orange juice

Shake with ice. Strain into an ice-filled highball glass. Garnish with maraschino cherries and a pineapple wedge.

Self mirandize

The Melodrama

1.5 oz. orange juice
1.5 oz. vodka
.25 tsp. vanilla extract
1 large egg white
Sparkling water

Rim a glass with turbinado sugar and chili powder.
Shake ingredients with ice for 2 minutes until the egg white is frothy.
Pour into glass and top with sparkling water. Garnish with an orange twist.

Act young and restless

Rosie’s Bar

1/2 of a lime
1 tsp. sugar
2 oz. soju

Muddle lime and sugar in a shaker. Shake with soju and ice. Strain and garnish with a lime wedge.

Sing along with Father Mulcahy

Next Time Just Listen To Sarah Connor

4 oz. Red Bull
.5 oz. Chambord
.5 oz. Bacardi 151
.5 oz. raspberry vodka

Pour Red bull into a whiskey glass, filling it half way. Pour remaining ingredients into a shot glass and set fire to it. Drop the shot into the Red Bull while flaming and serve.

Have 911 on speed dial

They’re Ladies But They Can Also Do Science And Stuff

1 oz. tequila
1 oz. aperol
1 oz. pink grapefruit juice
.5 oz. orange juice
1 tsp. maple syrup
3 dashes orange bitters
Shake with ice and strain into a glass of ice. Garnish with an orange twist.

Fire up your bunsen burner

The Squirting Flower

2 oz. tequila
5 oz. Squirt grapefruit soda
Fresh lime juice
Pinch of flaky sea salt

Fill a highball glass with ice. Sprinkle with ice and a squeeze of lime juice. Add tequila and Squirt. Stir.

Have a big adventure

Pea Soup

4 oz. tequila
.5 cup cold water
2 oz. lime juice
1 oz. agave syrup
1 cup pineapple cut into chunks
.3 cup packed fresh mint leaves
.5 cup packed fresh cilantro

Salt the rim of 2 tall glasses. In a blender mix all ingredients until mostly smooth.
Pour into glasses and garnish with jalapeno slices and additional cilantro or mint.

Have another. The power of Christ compels you.

The We CU

2 oz. grenadine
2 oz. drambuie
4 oz. orange juice
2 oz. scotch

Fill a flute glass with ice. Pour the ingredients one at a time in order.
Let it settle and stir a little. Garnish with an orange slice.

Support your local super hero

Speak Easy

2 oz. bourbon
.5 oz. allspice dram or spiced rum
.5 oz. lime juice
1 tsp. simple syrup
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with an orange twist.

Gargle, gargoyle

Who’s Laughing Now

2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. gran marnier
.75 oz. Rose Hip liqueur
.75 oz. lime juice
1 oz. simple syrup
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Always be the loud lady on the laugh track

Conspiracy Theory

1.5 oz. vodka
.75 oz. Disaronno Velvet liqueur
.25 oz. coffee liqueur
.25 oz. simple syrup
Shake with ice and strain into a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with fresh nutmeg.

Someone should really give Gene Hackman a call because this seems a little too coincidental

Paulie In Your Corner

1.5 oz. gin
.75 oz. Campari
.75 oz. sweet vermouth

Stir with ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with an orange twist.

Drink the one in the middle

Human Zoo

2 oz. lemon lime soda
1 oz. peach schnapps
1 oz. Southern Comfort

Combine with ice in a red solo cup.

Make 2 and throw one in someone’s face while yelling ‘stay the hell away from my man‘. Act surprised that things have spiraled out of control.

Political Brew Ha Ha

12 oz. Beer
.5 oz. lemon juice
1 oz. Aperol
2 dashes orange bitters

Gently combine all ingredients.

Enjoy in a fine stein

The Chronicles of Reddick

2 oz. aged rum
.75 oz. sweet vermouth
2.5 oz apple cider
.5 oz lime juice
.25 oz. simple syrup

Shake with ice and strain into a collins glass.

Sprinkle cinnamon on top.

Add ‘looks great in a uniform’ to the special skills section of your resume

Shut Your Mouth

1 oz. gin
2 oz. Jägermeister
4 oz. Red Bull

Stir over ice in a high ball glass.

Risk your neck for your brother

Bull or Bear

1 oz. Jack Daniels
1 oz. Yukon Jack
1 oz. Southern Comfort
1 oz. Wild Turkey
1 oz. Black Rum
Coca Cola

Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice. Pour in liquors and fill with Coke.

Buy low, sell high

Trick or Treat

2 oz. apple cider
1 oz. Aperol
2 oz. prosecco
Splash of soda water

Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice. Stir in cider and Aperol. Top with prosecco and soda water. Sprinkle with cinnamon and serve with an apple wedge.

Make it disappear

The Lipnick

2 oz. rye whiskey
.75 oz. simple syrup
3 drops bitters
Absinthe or Pernod

Muddle bitters and simple syrup. Add whiskey and shake with ice. Swirl absinthe in a rocks glass and discard. Strain into glass and garnish with a lemon twist.

Write a wrestling picture

1.5 oz. Old Grand Dad bourbon
3 oz. lemonade
Fresh rosemary or mint

Muddle herbs with bourbon. Add ice and shake. Strain over ice.

Serve in a Chigurh rimmed glass

You Know, For Kids

1 juice box of apple juice
1 oz. bourbon
1 oz. sour apple mash or moonshine
2 oz. cranberry juice

Shake and pour over ice.

Stay young at heart

2 oz. gin
1 oz. lemon juice
2 tsp. simple syrup
.5 oz. crème de mure or chambord

Shake gin, lemon juice and syrup. Strain into a rocks glass over crushed ice. Garnish with a lemon wheel and blackberries.

Tally ho

2 oz. gin
.75 oz. lemon juice
.5 oz. simple syrup
Club soda

Shake gin, lemon juice and syrup. Strain into a Collins glass over ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with a lemon wedge.

Drink it like a boss

.5 oz. reposado tequila
2 oz. Jagermeister
1 oz. grapefruit juice
.5 oz. simple syrup

Shake with ice. Strain into an old fashioned glass filled with ice. Garnish with a slice of grapefruit and a pinch of salt.

Steel your nerves

2 oz. orange vodka
1 can Red Bull

Pour over ice.

Aim for the airbag

1.5 oz. Calvados or brandy
.5 oz. Benedictine
.5 oz. yellow chartreuse liqueur
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir with ice. Strain into a champagne glass. Garnish with mint.

Fold your napkin until it makes something funny

1.5 oz. Irish whiskey
.5 oz. simple syrup
2 oz. espresso or cold brew coffee
2 oz. milk

Shake with ice. Strain into a large snifter. Dust with smoked paprika.

Ask for options

2 oz. whiskey
.5 oz. lemon juice
.5 tsp. sugar

Stir with ice in a lowball glass. Garnish with a slice of lemon and a maraschino cherry.

Yes-and everything anyone says

1.5 oz. gin
1 oz. apple juice
1 oz. cranberry juice
1 oz. brewed black tea, chilled
.5 oz. cinnamon syrup

Shake with ice strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with apple slices.

Jockey for the spotlight

1.5 oz. mezcal
2 dashes Angostura bitters
3 oz. Coke
.5 oz. orange juice

Pour mezcal, bitters and orange juice over ice. Top with coke.

Tell it like it is

2 oz. Cutty Sark whiskey
1 oz. lemon juice
1 oz. ginger syrup
.5 tsp honey
Ginger ale
.25 of a pear, sliced

Muddle pear, lemon juice. honey and ginger syrup. Add whiskey and stir with ice. Strain into a mug and top with ginger ale. Garnish with a pear slice.

Announce ‘we’re going again’ and make another

2 oz. Rumchata
1 oz. Frangelico
.75 oz. spiced rum
.5 oz. banana liqueur

Shake with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Sprinkle with nutmeg and cinnamon.

Fight all evil deeds

.5 oz. vodka
.5 oz. Parfait Amour
Shake with ice. Strain into a shot glass.

Prepare for liftoff

Mazel Tov

2 oz. sloe gin
1 tsp. lemon juice
1.5 tsp. lavender infused simple syrup
4 oz. champagne or sparkling wine

Fill a high ball glass with ice. Stir in gin, lemon juice and simple syrup. Top with champagne.

Go ahead and biddy biddy bum

1 oz. apricot brandy
2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. orange juice
1 dash pastis

Shake with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Add a patter song. Everyone loves those.

2 oz. bourbon
2 oz. orange juice
2 oz. orange soda

Pour into a Collins glass full of ice. Top with an orange slice.

Buy a vowel

2 oz. Jameson whiskey
1 egg white
1 oz. lemon juice
.5 oz. simple syrup
3 dashes of Angostura bitters

Shake well (no ice) for at least 30 seconds. Add ice and shake again until chilled. Strain into a rocks glass. Garnish with a lemon wedge.

Drink before the war

1.5 oz. Brothers Bond bourbon
.5 oz maple syrup
.5 oz. lemon juice
5 blueberries and 1 orange wheel
Muddle fruit with other ingredients in a shaker. Add ice and shake until chilled. Strain into a lowball glass over ice. Garnish with more blueberries and orange slices.

Let it ride

.75 oz. Benedictine D.O.M.
1.5 oz. Deep Eddy vodka
.75 oz. pink grapefruit juice
.25 oz lemon juice
8 drops grapefruit bitters
Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass.

Pair with a hero

2 oz. Cuervo Especial gold tequila
.5 oz. Cuervo Silver Especial
.5 oz. triple sec
1 splash orange curacao
1.25 oz. Rose’s lime juice
Juice from 2 lime wedges
.5 oz. grenadine
Shake everything but the grenadine with ice and turn turn turn until beads form on the outside of the shaker. Rim a margarita glass with a lime wedge and salt. Fill with ice and strain cocktail over ice. Push the ice aside and pour the grenadine down one side of the glass so it settles on the bottom, like the Edmund Fitzgerald. Garnish with a lime wedge and a maraschino cherry.

Take it easy on these or you’ll get wrecked

2 oz. vodka
1 oz. lime juice
.5 oz. Aperol

Shake with ice and pour into a coupe glass. Garnish with a lime twist

Feel very cosmopolitan and a little bitter

1 oz. Southern Comfort
1 oz. sloe gin
1 oz. amaretto
2 oz. orange juice

Shake with ice and pour into shot glasses.

Isn’t it pretty in pink?

.5 oz. Kahlua
.5 oz. Irish cream
.5 oz. Irish whiskey

Shake with ice. Strain into a shot glass and slam it.

Bounce off the ropes

2.5 oz. gin
.5 oz. dry vermouth

Shake with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a cocktail onion.

Shred

.75 oz. bourbon
.75 oz. Aperol
.75 oz. Amaro Nonino Quintessentia
.75 oz. lemon juice
Shake with ice and pour into a coupe glass.

Walk on by

2 oz. vodka
.5 oz. triple sec
.5 oz. banana liqueur
1.5 oz. orange juice
1.5 oz. pineapple juice
.25 oz. grenadine or pomegranate syrup

Shake with ice and strain into an ice filled glass.

Stop leaving your stuff all over the place

.5 lime
1 tsp. simple syrup
small sprig rosemary
1 Tbsp. mint leaves
2 oz. vodka
4. oz. ginger beer

Muddle lime, simple syrup, rosemary and mint in a shaker. Add vodka and fill with ice. Shake well then strain into a copper mug half filled with ice. Top with ginger beer. Garnish with a lime wedges and additional rosemary and mint.

Make your own kind of music

1.5 oz. peanut butter whiskey
1 oz. unsweetened cranberry juice
1 tsp. cointreau or chambord

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with berries.

Shout

3 oz. pineapple juice, divided
3 oz. orange juice, divided
.5 oz. 151 rum
.5 oz triple sec
1 oz. amaretto
1 oz. light rum
1 oz. blackberry brandy
.5 oz. maraschino cherry juice

Shake with ice using 2 ounces of pineapple and orange juice. Strain over ice. Pour over remaining juice. Do not stir. Garnish with maraschino cherries and pineapple wedges.

Be nice to Judy. She’s pretty much your only option.

2 oz. vodka
.5 oz. Lillet Blanc
.25 oz simple syrup
4 drops bitters

Stir with ice.

Sample

2 oz. bourbon
.5 oz. sorghum syrup or maple syrup
2 dashes orange bitters
1 dash chili bitters or bar spoon of smoky scotch

Rinse an old fashioned glass with peated scotch. Set aside. Stir ingredients in a mixing glass with ice. Strain over ice in prepared glass. Garnish with a charred candied orange wheel.

Sing a song

1 ½ oz Los Poblanos Western Dry Gin
1 oz Rothman & Winter Crème de Violette
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
½ oz Los Poblanos Lavender Syrup
5 oz Brut champagne

Build in an iced, stemless Burgundy wine glass. Garnish with a lemon twist and lavender sprig.

Put these songs on your Rio and take it to your Y2K bunker

1 oz. butterscotch schnapps
.75 oz. Irish cream

Stir with ice.

Play it loud even if your mom is around. She’ll probably sing along.

2 oz. 3 Olives Cherry vodka
1 oz. lime juice
4 oz. Sprite
.5 oz. cherry juice

Stir with ice. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Step behind the line

2 slices of bacon, cooked crisp
.5 cup maple syrup
1 cup water
2 oz. smoked maple bourbon
1 oz. unsweetened iced tea
Candied bacon for garnish

To make maple infused simple syrup, bring bacon, maple syrup and water to a boil over medium heat. Simmer 1 minute. Remove from heat and cool slightly. Shake bourbon, 1 oz. of simple syrup and iced tea with ice. Strain into a glass of ice. Garnish with candied bacon.

After 2 follow the concussion protocol

.5 oz. St. Germaine
1 sprig mint
4 oz. Prosecco
1 oz. soda water

Muddle St. Germaine and mint in a wine glass. Add ice. Top with Prosecco and soda water. Garnish with a lemon twist and mint.

Get up at 4am to watch the match

1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
1.5 oz. brandy
.75 oz. crème de cacao

Blend with ice until smooth. Garnish with nutmeg.

Use your time in the penalty box for self reflection

2 oz. limoncello
3 oz. Prosecco
1 oz. club soda

Pour over ice. Garnish with a lemon slices and mint.

Opine

1. 5 oz Amaretto
1.5 oz. Old Grand Dad bourbon
.5 oz. lemon juice
2 drops Angostura bitters

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Try to figure out where you know that guy from

.75 oz brandy
1 oz. Liquor 43, Tuaca, Galliano, or vanilla liqueur
.5 oz. yellow chartreuse
1.5 oz. advocaat liqueur or eggnog

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Dust with fresh nutmeg.

Speak up

2 oz. heavy cream
1 oz. vanilla vodka
1.5 oz. chocolate liqueur

Shake vodka and cream with ice. Strain into a a chilled glass. Slowly pour the chocolate liqueur into the center to float on top. Serve with a chocolate swizzle stick.

Sip all day and all of the night

1.5 oz. rye
.5 oz. apple jack
1.5 oz. switchel or kombucha
.25 oz. maple syrup
Cheddar foam: heat .25 cup half and half until steaming. Add .75 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese and heat until mixture is melted and smooth. Remove from heat and cool for 10 minutes. Whip 1 cup heavy cream and 1 tsp. sugar until stiff. Fold into cheese mixture.

Shake and strain over crushed ice. Top with cheddar foam.

Enjoy with cake

1 oz. maple cask rum
.5 oz. cognac
.5 oz. lime juice
.25 oz. simple syrup or maple syrup
2 oz. ginger beer
.25 oz. crème de cassis

Shake rum, cognac, lime juice and simple syrup with ice. Strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Top with ginger beer and float crème de cassis on top. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Stay out of the tabloids for like 5 minutes

2 pancakes
1 oz. chocolate liqueur
1 oz. butterscotch liqueur
Fresh strawberries

Use a cookie cutter or shot glass to cut pancakes and put in the bottom of a coupe glass. Smother with liqueurs and top with strawberries.

Mom always liked you best

.5 oz. Frangelico
1.5 oz. Wild Turkey rye
.75 oz. Cinzano 1757 Rosso
.5 oz. averna
4 drops absynthe

Stir with ice. Strain into a rocks glass over ice. Garnish with a grapefruit twist.

Sweep your dirty dishes under the rug